The Self Titled Band

Sloth (2000) – A spirited self-defense of a species with one fatal flaw. As an ironic defense mechanism, he throws a sly jibe towards mules and their shortcoming.

I am really slow
I have three toes
I am a three toed sloth

I have three toes
I am really slow
But I can still do a lot

  Keeping it real
  Keeping straight
  Here on my branch I can’t be late
  No problem, Bob
  This is my fate
  I don’t care how you feel, fool
  It’d be worse to be a mule
  I can still function, yo
  So don’t be cruel

Just because I run slow
Desn’t mean I’m a mother mo
I solve problems here in my tree
What I know can set me free

Coconut Man (1999) – A song of redemption. Ben’s original. About a man who was stranded on an island and was saved by coconuts.
Coconut Man (remix) (2000) – Recorded in nicer settings.

Coconuts in my head
I’ll eat them in my bed
Coconuts all day long
Taht’s why I made this song

Everytime I eat one up
I think that I’m in heaven
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

  I love you coconut more that any other
  I love you coconut more than my brother

Sometimes I dream I am a monkey
Sitting atop a coconut tree
I’ve done it once: climbed up one such tree
Just listen now and I’ll tell the story

I took a yacht out for one night
Everything was going right
I really had nothing planned
Then I crashed on some island

I thought I was going to die
Die, die, die, die, die…

There was no sign of water
I thought to myself, “Oh bother”
Then something fell on my toe
A coconut that contained H2O

I would not die this time
A plane would arrive
Alive, alive, alive, alive!

A coconut…  It saved me from disaster.  A coconut…

Violence is not the Answer (2000) – A short prelude, recorded in a friend’s nicer home studio setting.

Some people think that it’s a game to kill another man
Some people think that it’s all right to fight again again
Some people think that they’re not to blame at all

But! Violence is not the answer!  No!

Freak (1999) – A punk rock parody, complete with punk rock adolescent angst, recorded live with Rory Woods on drums.

Why won’t you play outside with me?
I’m only eight foot three
Why do you call me a freak?
I just have a tall peak

  How could a freak like me
  Live without misery?
  How could a
  Freak like me have friends

Dah dah dah

Ever since I was four
I couldn’t get through the door
I tried so hard to fit right in
I messed up bad to my chagrin

I’ll show you all that I can do
I may be large, that is true
I’ll try to make the best of it
I wish I wasn’t a misfit

Son of Sammy (1999) – No comment.

Sammy, the sailor
The son of Sammy

B: Sammy went out to the ocean
Sammy went in a big boat
D: Sammy was awfully foolish
He forgot his overcoat

B: Sammy went into deep water
Sammy knew he could not swim
D: He got eaten by a big shark
And nobody knows what to do about him

B: I am the son of Sammy!  I will inherit his legacy!
D: I am not the son of Sammy!  I am his brother!

B: Doo doo doo… Sammy is my dad!

B: Father of mine, where have you been?
I’m all alone, can’t you see,
hey look, there’s an elm tree!

D: Sammy knew yoga, Sammy knew karate
His son has nobody to protect him now.
How can he live and be?

B: Daddy was a hero
Daddy was an ex-spy
Sammy drank acidophilus milk
He was very special to I!

D: When you think you’re alone
Just think of the son of Sammy
Sammy, poor Sammy,
You don’t have it so bad!

Sky (1999) – I’ll let you listen to this song when pigs fly!

We dedicate this song to the sky.
The vast expanse of space, full of things.

Blue, the blue sky
Waiting for pigs to fly

The atmosphere…
It has no peer
We find no deer or steer
We’re just waiting for the pigs to fly
Just waiting for the pigs

I want the pigs to come to me
I want to pick up the pork with my spork

Farmer John will be in business
When the pigs come this Christmas
Mr. Pig, flying through the sky!

He had a time machine
He came back to 1999
Who, who, who would have known
That we’d see pigs in the sky
Now, now, we have the misfortune
Of seeing Mr. Pig die

They started their trip in the mountains
And ended up in the sky
We thought it couldn’t happen
Pigs in the Sky

Oink!

Loch Ness Monster (1999) – Is it an allegory for something?

People have claimed to have seen the Loch Ness Monster
Are they insane?  Do they really have proof?
Somebody once showed me a polaroid picture.
Is it really true, could it really be there?

The TV news once told me that the pictures were doctored.
Sure there’s lot of skeptics, but how about the believers?
I met a scottish man who lived across the lake.
One day while he swam, the Lock Ness showed his face!

  Could you every see, could you ever see a Loch Ness Monster?
  Could you every see, could you ever see a Loch Ness Monster?

Maybe he’s a figment of your imagination.
But you must admit, he could be under there!